Impulse Buy – KISS M&M’s

To help celebrate the release of their new album, “Sonic Boom,” superband of the land KISS decided to undertake a rare publicity move, issuing some kitschy merchandise to help create an ambiance of gotta-have-it excitement. The price? Well, to retrieve luxury items such as $5 T-shirts, Mr. Potato Heads, and fleece blankets required a trip to Wal-Mart, the satanic figure of Western mass merchandise stores. The horror. The horror.

Because Gene Simmons can’t be stopped, Wal-Mart has included a “KISS Korner” inside a majority of their stores to group together the new swag, helping the KISS Army out with a generous time management shortcut. I write “majority,” but I visited a few too many local Wal-Marts to find the Korner, entertaining myself by questioning the clueless staff on the whereabouts of the merch. It seems 70-year-old African-American ladies don't have a clue about the bestest band eva!  Yet, my effort was necessary because Mr. Simmons found my weakness. You see, the KISS Korners not only sell apparel, CDs, and toys, but also ridiculous candy. I can’t resist sweet absurdity.

KISS M&M’s have joined the “Sonic Boom” promotional party, stamping the popular chocolate candy with the visage of all four band members. Offered on white, gray, red, and black M&M’s, the KISS candy (or is it “kandy?”) doesn’t contain any special flavor (e.g. “tongue,” “groupie,” or “royalty check”), just the traditional experience. The gimmick here is the opportunity to chomp down on KISS heads by the handful. Paul Stanley melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

Unless of course you want him to melt in your hand. That’s another $100.

The printing on the KISS candy is actually pretty clear and identifiable, though you can’t make out any faces on the black orbs, making the color useless, much like Peter Criss. Without a novelty flavor, this is more of a visual gag, but an amusing one, especially for KISS fanatics who’ve long dreamed of a day when they could top off their rock god idolatry with a candy-coated confection.