I’m not even sure this qualifies as a real movie. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
Author: BO
-
Film Review – J. Edgar
140 minutes is a long time to devote to a bio-pic, only to learn absolutely nothing momentous about the subject. Perhaps that’s the way J. Edgar Hoover would’ve preferred his life story to be told, but as cinema, the caginess creates an interminable viewing experience. Handsomely mounted but otherwise devoid of passion and insight, “J. Edgar” is a bizarre attempt to catch a shadow, providing the audience with spicy bedroom details when the very basics of everyday motivation and behavior would be more welcome. Director Clint Eastwood shows too much leniency with Dustin Lance Black’s screenplay, dutifully following a flawed blueprint, ending up with a dismal, unenlightening motion picture, at times bordering on character assassination, even for a man as controversial as J. Edgar Hoover. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – London Boulevard
One doesn’t buy a ticket for “London Boulevard” expecting a vigorous display of originality, reshaping the con-goes-clean subgenre with an inspiring display of invention. No, material like this needs to be served with a certain sense of familiarity, hitting low notes of brutality and intimidation in a manner that’s both exhilarating and horrifying. It’s far from a perfect film, yet “London Boulevard” carries itself quite successfully for much of its running time, spinning a familiar story with panache and attention to the needs of trembling introspection. Flawed but impressively executed, the movie has a distinct reverberation that holds the formula together, making the mean business of unlawful behavior convincing in the face of absolute predictability. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Blu-ray Review – The Cannonball Run
Why certain movies become smash hits at the box office while others die a horrible, embarrassing death is a show business mystery that will never be solved. Some say relentless marketing efforts are required, while others reinforce the importance of a strong release date. In the case of "The Cannonball Run," it's obviously star power that urged hordes of ticket buyers into theaters during the summer of 1981. At least I hope it was star power. With all due respect to cult admirers of the picture, "The Cannonball Run" is a wearisome, nonsensical production rescued by its marquee value. It's difficult to grow upset with the feature when it's continuously shifting perspective, slapping a fresh face on the screen every two minutes to lead attention away from the substandard direction, questionable continuity, and general slack momentum of the piece. Take it as pure escapism executed by giddy performers, and it's passable entertainment. Otherwise, it's a rough cross-country ride of indulgence and automobile mayhem, perhaps best suited for a Saturday morning cartoon. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Blu-ray Review – BKO: Bangkok Knockout
With the rise and fall of Tony Jaa and his knockoffs, there appears to be a feeling of stagnancy to the Thai film market these days, flooded with countless martial art actioners, most quite dismal and unthreatening. Director Panna Rittikrai ("Ong Bak 2" and "Ong Bak 3") looks to return some thunder to the stale genre with "BKO: Bangkok Knockout," a highly convincing tour of broken body parts and wild-eyed reactions. It's a berserk creation that's absolutely thrilling at times, though restrained somewhat by pesky details such as character development and logic. But who really cares about filmmaking fundamentals when the force of aggression registers off the charts, working countless fights and agreeable acts of heroism into a superbly entertaining blast of brutality. It seems there's still plenty of kick to the Thai way of screen defense. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – The Son of No One
With 2005’s “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” and 2009’s “Fighting,” writer/director Dito Montiel showed interest in detailing the seedy underbelly of life in New York City, soaking up the heart and soul of a violent metropolis. Unfortunately, he’s constructed two decidedly underwhelming pictures, each falling well short of their poetic intentions. A third effort, the cop drama “The Son of No One,” joins the group, forming a trilogy of mediocrity, finding Montiel swinging wildly to capture an elusive tonality of vulnerability, which always slides into excessive melodrama. The toxic textures of the city are firmly in place, but the rest of this movie flounders, focused too intently on heavy thespian articulation and a central mystery that’s solved by the start of the second act.
-
Film Review – The Skin I Live In
Writer/director Pedro Almodovar has always been drawn to the dark reaches of human behavior, though he usually surveys areas of pain and jealousy with a cheeky sense of humor and a heavy sense of compassion. “The Skin I Live In” is a chilling effort from the Spanish filmmaker, taking matters of revenge and obsession to extreme ends. As with any Almodovar picture, it’s a long, winding road to Hell, populated with grotesque encounters and a perverse sensuality, blended into a fascinating, gorgeously crafted tragedy with intense horror highlights. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
It’s amazing that anyone in Hollywood could find enough material to fill one movie featuring lovable(?) stoners Harold and Kumar, but here we are facing a second sequel. The baked boys are back with a seasonal romp, and outside of a few holiday tunes on the soundtrack and a cameo by Santa, it’s pretty much the same old salty stuff. Fans of the series will undoubtedly gobble up the latest round of marijuana-cloud antics, especially with the movie’s pronounced 3D presentation, permitting the characters a chance to blow bong hits into the audience, giving the party ambiance that extra dimension. Outsiders should head elsewhere to satisfy their entertainment needs, for this continuation is all about repetition, only with a slightly duller edge than before. After all, predictable stoner mischief is less cute when it features men in their late-30s. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – Tower Heist
It appears director Brett Ratner wanted a version of “Ocean’s Eleven” to toy with, so he picked up its screenwriter (Ted Griffin) and one of the stars (Casey Affleck) and built his own heist comedy. “Tower Heist” is being marketed as an endless stream of criminal antics and bellylaughs with an all-star cast, but it’s not an exceedingly silly movie. In fact, long stretches of the picture are devoted to the motivation and execution of the central crime, with laughs stuffed into the pockets of the screenplay as it unfolds. Regardless of its erratic comedic velocity, the feature is satisfying presentation of matinee entertainment, providing basic elements of suspense and financial crash wish fulfillment with an efficient filmmaking snap. It’s hardly original, but “Tower Heist” is appealing, even when it arrives wearing more of a scowl than a smile. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – Chalet Girl
“Chalet Girl” is fluff best served to young teenage girls dreaming of exotic locales and unattainable men, a fantasy set to blaring pop music and decorated with a heavy splattering of sarcasm. It has its charms, mostly provided by the cast, but it doesn’t add up to anything memorable, best appreciated as a lighthearted distraction for sleepover parties, handed unique life through its European locations and lovely snowscapes, lending the frame a refreshing white glow to counteract all the mundane particulars of the script. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – The Double
As a thriller, “The Double” is ridiculously convoluted, spending more time trying to explain motivations and clarify names than it does serving up legitimate armrest-tearing thrills. I’m sure the filmmakers are quite proud of their cat’s cradle of a movie, but what’s lacking is a mounting sense of unrest, a tense acceleration of reveals and attacks, permitting the monkey business collected here a sense of speed to help overcome its unnecessary density. Instead, the feature labors over details as though the C.I.A. is going to use this as a training tool for new recruits, taking a very silly, logic-leaping effort with the utmost seriousness. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Blu-ray Review – Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad
I know absolutely nothing about the "Onechanbara" video game series, but title anything "Bikini Samurai Squad" and I'm all yours for 90 minutes. It's an enticing title, right? Imagine "The King's Speech: Bikini Samurai Squad" or "The Tree of Life: Bikini Samurai Squad." Now you have to see the movie. Well, it pains me to report that the raincoat crowd should stay miles away from this Japanese stinker, which fails to provide a satisfactory amount of swimsuited justice. Instead, it's an awful futuristic horror actioner slapped together with spare change, attempting to translate the martial art fluidity of a video game to the big screen, only to forget storytelling essentials. It's drab, amateurish, and hideously performed. Heck, even the titular bikini is a disappointing piece of fuzzy costuming unworthy of top billing. This could've been a blast. Instead, it's utterly incompetent. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – The Woman
In 2002, Lucky McKee made his writing/directing debut with “May,” a sinister little horror gem that created quite a stir with genre fans, all but guaranteeing the helmer a long, celebrated career and the adoration of gorehounds everywhere. The follow-up, 2006’s “The Woods,” was a dispiriting effort, tangled and ineffective despite evocative embellishments. “The Woman” suggests that perhaps “May” was merely a fluke. A bafflingly angry, ugly demonstration of dehumanization, the feature is a glacial, low-rent addition to the suffering subgenre, requiring the audience to not only sit through aggressive acts of bodily trauma, but long stretches of clumsy filmmaking as well. If there’s a larger societal point to this cinematic mess, it’s lost somewhere between the unsightly use of wide-angle lenses and an atrocious soundtrack that’s guaranteed to make theater speakers bleed. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Blu-ray Review – The Clowns
Having visited the circus once as a child and raised outside of the influence of the painted man arts, I'm not one to list clowns as a phobia, curling up in terror when a white-faced person of professional tomfoolery skips near. Those who suffer from coulrophobia (heavens, there's actually a name for it) would be well advised to steer clear of the 1970 Federico Fellini effort, "The Clowns." For viewers with a larger appetite for top shelf high jinks, the picture is an extraordinary time capsule of circus feats, blurring the line between fantasy and reality as a master filmmaker delves into his most cherished subject, whisking viewers across Europe on a hunt for unforgettable clowns. It's a movie containing extensive performance footage, bizarre tales from the vocation, and rosy-cheeked sorrow for a dying art form. It's Fellini's childhood obsessions splashed across the screen, producing a pleasurably disorientating viewing experience. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – Puss in Boots
Introduced to the world in 2004’s “Shrek 2,” the character of Puss in Boots went on to steal the movie away from the neurotic green ogre, blending common feline instincts with a feisty vocal performance from Antonio Banderas. The furry clown would go on to become the highlights of “Shrek the Third” and “Shrek Forever After,” leaving Dreamworks with no choice but to gift the frisky kitty his own starring vehicle. “Puss in Boots” isn’t exactly the freewheeling adventure the cat deserves, weighed down by a leaden script, but isolated antics remain as amusing as ever, demanding Banderas rear back and let loose with a full-body performance that carries the film heroically through some pointlessly heavy plotting. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – In Time
If movies were judged solely on ambition, “In Time” would be one of the best pictures of the year. Alas, it’s actually on the lower end of 2011 releases, making a mess out of a nifty premise. Writer/director Andrew Niccol (“S1m0ne,” “Lord of War”) seems to think he’s creating a stylish, pointed social commentary with this futuristic Bonnie and Clyde tale, but he’s ruined the beguiling sci-fi effect through banal dialogue and wooden performances. It’s a stillborn feature, wasting its promise on emptiness when all Niccol had to do was sit back and enjoy the world he created, investigating its rituals and peculiar response. Instead, he’s elected to make an action movie, without any real practice with the genre and its demanding need for propulsive plotting. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – The Rum Diary
Everyone’s favorite pirate, Johnny Depp, strolls giddily into the gravity pull of Hunter S. Thompson’s madness once again with “The Rum Diary,” a feature film adaptation of a 1998 novel from the legendary writer (who died in 2005). Avoiding the thick of bat country, Depp generates a slightly suave take on Thompson’s youth, pushing away the gobs of drugs found in Terry Gilliam’s 1998 scattergun, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” to guzzle gallons of booze, dancing around another tale of oddballs and hangovers, with the emphasis here on personal transformation, acting a prequel story of sorts for Thompson. It’s a muddled movie in dire need of a cleaner edit, but there are moments of tremendous clarity that bring out some amusingly crooked behavior, articulated with a tight Thompson shuffle by Depp. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – Circumstance
“Circumstance” is an imperfect film with stunning components. Part cultural drama, part lesbian love story, the picture endeavors to explore the urges of personal freedom inside Iran, observing the bonds of family and religion, focusing on two young women faced with a dire future of subservience, forced to choose between stifling tradition and the need for rebellion, which soon melts into primal elements of desire. It’s a potent picture cursed with fractured storytelling, displaying lively imagery that registers more powerfully than its drama. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com
-
Film Review – 13
Remaking his own 2005 feature “13 Tzameti,” writer/director Gela Babluani doesn’t expel all that much effort modifying his material; instead, he essentially reheats this vicious tale of Russian roulette for American audiences. There’s a decent amount of star power and established actors collected for this chiller, and those new to the premise might find themselves drawn into this foul underworld saga. However, fans of the original will likely be saddened to find Babluani making the same film all over again, only here he cools the efficiency of the previous picture, allowing a sense of staleness to permeate the production. While still rippling with tension due to the graphic subject matter, “13” remains an unnecessary remake. Read the rest at Blu-ray.com

















