Author: BO
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Star Wars Weekends 2009 at Disney’s Hollywood Studios
Wow. Star Wars Weekends ended over a month ago, and I never got around to posting my pictures from the event. Chalk it up to pure absentmindedness, not a reflection of the month-long celebration of all things “Star Wars.”
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Film Review – (500) Days of Summer
Comparing “(500) Days of Summer” to Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall” might be marvelous shorthand to describe the acidic romantic comedy intentions of this new film, but quality wise, the pictures are miles apart. Using the tenets of alternative hipsterdom to blanket screen clichés of all shapes and sizes, “Days” aims to be a carefree, collar-unbuttoned pass on love and other disasters. Mostly the picture grates with its faux-indie-film affectations and unimaginative craftsmanship. It grazes on the fields of Gen-Y trends and ‘80’s nostalgia to fatten itself to such a degree, it would be impossible to notice the material is only a few menopausal jokes away from your average Nora Ephron film.
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FIlm Review – Nature’s Grave
With all the grief Hollywood receives (however justified) for reimagining their horror classics, it appears those bad habits are spreading across the globe. The clumsily titled “Nature’s Grave” (wow) is a remake of the 1978 Australian shocker “Long Weekend,” brought back to the screen through Aussie funding and local director Jamie Blanks. It goes without saying that an update here is completely unnecessary, but Blanks, while curiously slavish to the original picture, insists on recapturing B-movie lightning in a bottle, minus the powerhouse thespian effort and directorial stillness that marked filmmaker Colin Eggleston’s initial take on this bruising material.
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The Magic Kingdom Turkey Leg
The Magic Kingdom Turkey Leg. If there was one single Disney food item I developed an insane amount of curiosity about over the years, it would be that salted, exotic meat stick.
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Film Review – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The last time we saw Harry Potter in action, he was engaged in war, suffering a great personal loss that would forever rob him of innocence and compassion toward his enemies. “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” the sixth film of this long-standing franchise, replaces combat with the electrical storm of teen hormones. It’s not as breakneck a change of pace as it sounds, but the new direction helps to further develop the Hogwarts gang past wands and wonder, finding fertile dramatic ground yet again to raise the stakes as Harry takes his first leap toward the ultimate showdown with his nemesis, Voldemort.
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Reliving the Summer of 1989 Diary – Week Eight
Snatching James Bond’s “License to Kill” away and gettin’ misty over “When Harry Met Sally…”
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Film Review – Bruno
It appears the trilogy is now complete. After creating starring vehicles for his characters Ali G (2002’s “Ali G Indahouse”) and Borat Sagdiyev (2006’s smash “Borat”), the time has come for Sacha Baron Cohen to allow Bruno an opportunity to carry his own picture. “Bruno” will likely be welcomed by an adoring audience fully equipped to endure the traditional blast of Cohen-approved smut and merciless social commentary, especially after “Borat” turned his obscure antics into box office gold. However, don’t hold sudden international success against Cohen’s superb modus operandi, who once again tears into a clueless world seeking to mock, celebrate, and disgust anyone who will welcome him.
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Film Review – I Love You, Beth Cooper
Full disclosure: I think Chris Columbus is a wonderful mainstream filmmaker. Perhaps not the most dignified director in the business, but his blockbuster instincts are sharp and his résumé contains some of Hollywood’s most beloved features. Granted, Columbus took a hit with the underrated Broadway adaptation “Rent” four years ago, but who could’ve expected that risky change of pace would lead him to “I Love You, Beth Cooper,” by far the most repellent film Columbus has ever been associated with, not to mention a shoo-in for multiple 2009 worst-of lists. Perhaps Columbus was involved in a hideous car accident recently that left him partially brain damaged, or maybe tragic senility is creeping up on the 51-year-old filmmaker. I simply refuse to believe Columbus willingly created something as monstrously unfunny and schizophrenic as “Cooper.”
Yes, it’s worse than “Bicentennial Man.”
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Film Review – Labor Pains
Burning through a film career in the same time it takes some people to shop for car insurance, Lindsay Lohan suffered a major blow two years back when she agreed to star in the laughable thriller, “I Know Who Killed Me.” It was then and there that Ms. Lohan went from a praiseworthy ingénue to a bad actress statistic, effectively killing her screen career through a series of poor artistic and personal choices. “Labor Pains” symbolizes Lohan’s attempt to climb the Hollywood rope all over again, forgoing an interesting, cunning rebirth to make a dreadful sitcom-style film that merely asks her to show up and stand in front of a camera. “Pains” is aptly titled, placing the visibly exhausted star in the center of a motherhood farce that’s miles above her skill level.
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Film Review – Yoo-Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg
The documentary “Yoo-Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg” is tender, affectionate, and exceptionally educational. And when I write educational, I mean it: not being a student of classic radio or television, I’d never heard of Gertrude Berg before this film. After watching the documentary on her life, I never want to forget her.
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Reliving the Summer of 1989 Diary – Week Seven
Memories of a red-hot “Lethal Weapon 2” summer and enduring “Weekend at Bernie’s” all over again.
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Film Review – I Hate Valentine’s Day
Ahh, yes, there’s no better time of year to issue a film titled “I Hate Valentine’s Day” than the weekend celebrating the Fourth of July holiday. I suppose you could label it clever counterprogramming, but I’m more inclined to consider the release date as the latest in a long series of bad ideas when it comes to this bland, winded motion picture.
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Film Review – Public Enemies
It started with “Ali.” There, revered director Michael Mann cautiously backed away from the stiff mechanics of traditional storytelling to form his own cinematic language, armed with a marathon script and liberating HD cameras. The John Dillinger gangster tale “Public Enemies” represents the implosion of Mann’s balloon of progress. In chasing his own insufferable visual punctuation and distancing performance needs, Mann swings and misses hard with “Enemies,” gathering an enviable platter of cold stares, blasting Tommy Guns, and lustful smirks, but losing himself in the deafening filmmaking affectation. Rarely has a wonderland of hardened gangsters, flighty dames, and widescreen bank robbing been rendered this lifeless.
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Film Review – Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
“Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” isn’t an ambitious, event movie sequel in the same fashion as perhaps “Ice Age: The Meltdown” was softly gunning for. It’s more of an agreeable installment of television than a magnificent animated effort. This is not a criticism. In fact, it’s perhaps the reason why “Dawn” is such a charming film. With a relaxed mood, a playful cast, and a plot that doesn’t sweat itself into a pointless sense of importance, “Dawn” is mild sauce but tremendously entertaining, with an easy-peasy celebratory attitude that extends to the picture’s lively 3-D visual scheme.
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Reliving the Summer of 1989 Diary – Week Six
Inhaling the badness of “The Karate Kid: Part III,” stunned by the insanity of “Great Balls of Fire!,” and polishing the “Do the Right Thing” trophy.















