(Reviewed at the 2008 Phoenix Film Festival)
I don’t know what to be more frightened of: the plight of the average Midwestern teenager or the state of documentary films. “American Teen” yearns to expose the aching heart of high schoolers, but comes up short in rather impressive fashion, taking cues from MTV’s “The Hills” to manufacture a documentary that doesn’t appear to contain a living, breathing moment of reality.
Once the king of comedy, it’s been a disheartening journey for Eddie Murphy recently; he’s failed to remind audiences what once made him such a hot comedy commodity, only to see his mojo dissipate through a series of bad script choices and forgettable kid film diversions. I wouldn’t label “Meet Dave” a reputation-revitalizing turn for the actor, but the picture is admirably competent, delightfully silly, and absent a majority of repulsions typically associated with an Eddie Murphy family film.
2004’s “Hellboy” was a sprawling, mysterious, comical, slimy, and idiosyncratic monster movie. “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” has all of those qualities and one more: restraint. Well, at least a newfound sense of limitation; this sequel overdoses in a big way on fantasy tangents, yet, unlike the earlier picture, it clicks together with a greater, more direct geek panache.
“Journey to the Center of the Earth” isn’t a straight-jacket adaptation of the Jules Verne classic, but a vague photocopy that eschews daring adventure for cheap, plastic thrills, tarted up with a sickly glaze of 3-D to help prop up the anemic screenplay. It’s a gimmick-driven movie and it’s shocking how much the final product lacks the source material’s intrinsic magic.
“Never Forever” had all the opportunity in the world to fall in line with its romance-novel inclinations, to feed off melodrama and end up a tragic tear-jerker that flails wildly and distills the pain of life into bite-sized bits of mascara-smeared displeasure. Thank heavens writer/director Gina Kim isn’t interested in reducing her feature to a puddle of pandering.
“Brick Lane” is a melodrama, but it’s crafted with such fascinating compassion and care for moments of heart-twisting domestic compromise that it’s easy to forgive a few narrative bumps and a handful of familiarity.
The Los Angeles Times quote on the cover of the 20th Anniversary DVD release of “Heathers” reads: “Without ‘Heathers,’ there would be no ‘Jawbreaker,’ no ‘Mean Girls’ and certainly no ‘Juno.’
That’s the best Anchor Bay/Starz could come up with to describe this sublime motion picture? For this utterly faultless document not only of punishing high school hierarchy and melodramatics, but a pitch-black, pitch-perfect comedy that somehow manages to be completely reprehensible and socially irresponsible, yet remains shockingly devoid of mean-spirited characterization and preaching? Oh these marketing stooges…they just had to bring the rancid knockoffs into the mix to destroy the integrity of the preeminent high school disaster story.
I’m not used to writing a statement like this, so please forgive me if I pass out from the shock of disbelief: Peter Berg’s direction saves “Hancock.” There, it’s out on the page for the world to see. Clearly the cinema gods are pleased with me, because I just watched a Peter Berg film and I didn’t want to punch the screen afterwards.
It certainly took the gang at Cinematic Titanic enough time to regroup, but the six-month wait between episodes was worth the unbearable impatience. Backing away after the release of “The Oozing Skull” to reassess their strengths and weaknesses, Titanic storms back with “Doomsday Machine,” and while the series is starting to solidify pleasingly, the movie selection for this outing is perhaps too formidable for even this squad of ace comedians to conquer with quips.
Someone somewhere had the nutty idea to connect the music from the 1940s to the music of the late 1970s, and explore that combustible relationship to fashion the ultimate disco movie of 1980. It was the year that gave us “Flash Gordon,” “Can’t Stop the Music,” and “The Apple,” yet “Xanadu” trumped them all with its pageantry of glitter, roller skating, and yearning to put on a show larger than life to kick off the new decade on a skyrocketing fantastical note of nylon-jumpsuited ecstasy.
It’s not the familiarity that ultimately undoes “Wanted,” but its uncharacteristic reserve. A back-flipping action bonanza, “Wanted” is an adult cartoon, taking acts of death-defying stupidity to their most illogical extreme, and that’s exactly where this outlandish visual buffet should stay.
Pixar as a formidable storytelling machine is not an entity I’m entirely comfortable with. The studio has turned itself into a faceless animation brand name, and while I can’t argue the box office numbers, I’m not buying the artistic results. “Wall-E” is Pixar’s biggest creative gamble in over a decade; a genuine cinematic leap of faith. However, the ambition doesn’t match the outcome, and while “Wall-E” dances whimsically, it’s a plodding, frighteningly hypocritical, and forbidding film that trips over its fogged intentions at every dreary turn.
“Finding Amanda” could easily be lumped into the growing “awful people doing awful things” genre. It’s a story of unlikeable characters forced into a position where they’re expected act honorably, yet can’t exactly temper their nature to destroy their own lives. Yes, it’s a comedy.
Contractually dumped into a handful of movie theaters late last year without a wisp of promotion or pride, “Mama’s Boy” has finally arrived on DVD where it rightfully belongs. A witless, awkwardly constructed comedy, “Boy” bungles its comedic potential at every step, turning what should’ve been a jolly 90 minute diversion into a master class on miscasting.
There was a character in the last “Austin Powers” film named, appropriately, Goldmember; he was a mischievous creation from star Mike Myers, performed with a goofy voice and an eye toward grossing out the room, but he ran out of entertainment steam early. “The Love Guru” is a cinematic equivalent of Goldmember: a semi-hilarious movie that corners itself too easily and grows tiresome quickly.
“Missed it by that much!” is the classic line from the “Get Smart” television series and could easily describe the latest big screen incarnation. A woefully uneven motion picture, “Smart” is a misfire, but not entirely ineffective.
It’s easy to see that “Kit Kittredge” is after family audiences. It’s a harmless tale told without a lick of objectionable content, sure to offer relief to many parents unwilling to subject their children to the heated warfare of lowbrow summer entertainment. However, as generous in spirit as “Kittredge” is, it’s an absolute chore to sit through for anyone not plugged into the “American Girl” franchise hoedown.
Actor Danny McBride has stumbled his way into several supporting slots in recent years, prompting the nation to cry: who the hell is this guy? “The Foot Fist Way” is to blame, folks: a low-budget wannabe cult comedy shot three years ago, only recently graduating from underground DVD circulation to a small theatrical release. It should’ve stayed in obscurity.
During the clammy weekends of June, Disney’s Hollywood Studios (formerly Disney-MGM Studios) puts on a show. Mind you, it’s not just any old show, but a “Star Wars” show: virtual catnip to families and nerdly shut-ins everywhere. It beams out like a siren song across the world, calling the Lucas-faithful to Orlando to partake in 12 days of the most Jedi-approved merriment a mere human can handle.
These are the “Star Wars Weekends.”
The Incredible Hulk is big and green, but his promotional tie-in assault has been rather petite and more off-white in hue. My old friends at 7-Eleven have tried to drum up interest for the new Edward Norton-powered “Incredible Hulk” film by trotting out a new round of lenticular Slurpee cups, preferably filled with the “Radiation Rush” ice drink. Because nothing says dee-lish quite like a mouthful of freezing green slush intended to represent one of the most poisonous substances known to humankind.
Oh, and there’s a donut too.
BRIAN ORNDORF 