Category: Film Review

Whatever magic was included in Sara Gruen’s 2006 novel, “Water for Elephants,” has not made the arduous journey to the big screen. An excruciatingly labored and uneven melodrama, the cinematic incarnation of the best-seller takes a vivid tale of romance and revenge and bleeds it dry of tension, electing to hang tight to a trio of miscast actors instead of developing the rich world and characterizations of the story. The best part of the picture is the elephant, and even she looks embarrassed to be a part of this charmless snoozer.

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“Rio” doesn’t break new ground in terms of animated entertainment for families, but what it does it does very well. A musical romp boasting an explosion of colors and an energetic range of voice actors, “Rio” keeps to a minimal plan of villains and personal triumph, summoning a charming, booty-shaking carnival ambiance where a bunch of crazy birds (as opposed to the angry kind) participate in some 3D-inflated slapstick, adding to the riotous party atmosphere.

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“The Conspirator” is a sumptuously shot depiction of a lesser-known moment in history. Taking place after President Lincoln’s assassination in 1865, the picture seeks to recreate hysteria and shady political dealings during a time of nationwide turbulence. Unfortunately, instead of mounting a crushing procedural picture filled with facts and figures, director Robert Redford elects for a more melodramatic route, turning all the accusations and disgust into a wobbly drama of limited emotional impact.

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Time hasn’t been kind to the “Scream” franchise, with the original film’s novelty effectively scraped away by imitators, parodies, and sequels, diluting the position of pop culture powerhouse the 1996 film achieved. We’re up to “Scream 4” now, and it’s a completely unnecessary update/reboot/reheat that essentially rehashes previous pandemonium, deploying the same nudge-nudge self-referential screenwriting and graphic kills fans have come to expect and perhaps resent. It’s a tired, overstuffed, overlong picture that labors to revitalize a comatose concept. The scream has effectively become a yawn.

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“Hobo with a Shotgun” started life as a faux trailer used to help promote the 2007 release of the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino extravaganza, “Grindhouse.” It probably should’ve remained as a kitschy, grimy celebration of scratchy B-movie promotion. Since iffy internet jokes never seem to die peacefully anymore, we now have a feature-length version of “Hobo with a Shotgun,” and the upgrade is mostly unbearable camp disguised as hip homage, splattered with enough blood and guts to distract from a cinematically empty reality, with director Jason Eisener declaring screen war without any notable scripted ideas.

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Personally, I harbor no romantic feelings for the 1981 Dudley Moore sleeper smash, “Arthur.” Distractingly clunky, the feature is best appreciated as a film of its time, when a mainstream comedy could be built around the antics of monstrous alcoholic and still be regarded as adorable. It’s strange to be confronted with a remake of such beloved material, which still holds to a clownish boozehound mentality to acquire laughs, though much of the overt foam has been shaved away out of respect for the disease. Then again, Moore made “Arthur 2: On the Rocks,” so perhaps the character isn’t as precious as I recall. Remake away, boys.

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“Your Highness” doesn’t have to be a smart comedy, but a little effort is always appreciated. A feast for the eyes, the picture doesn’t have much of a funny bone, electing to stage puerile stoner humor as a way to fully pants the sword and sorcery genre. The objective is clear as day, but that doesn’t make this parade of obscenities and sex jokes any funnier. And to think, director David Gordon Green was once a major force for independent cinema. Now he’s overseeing the fine details of a rubber Minotaur penis. Hooray for Hollywood.

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“Oregon Trail: The Movie” is a crude way to describe “Meek’s Cutoff,” but it’s an apt comparison. Writer/director Kelly Reichardt endeavors to pull the viewer into the hardscrabble slog of the settler, crossing endless terrain with oxen and wagons, always on a desperate hunt for supplies and water. However, “Oregon Trail” was just a game with a reset function. “Meek’s Cutoff” is austere and unforgiving — frankly, it’s as close to prairie reality as I care to get.

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“13 Assassins” is like watching a protracted chess game with an exquisite final move. It’s a samurai tale of allegiances and vengeance, and while its violent, blood-spattered path is engrossing, the film makes a considerable effort to slow cook the set-up, making the road to death’s door something significant, moving away from empty stylistics to stage a film of icy warrior valor.

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“Miral” is a film of many themes, characters, and stories, though it desires to be a singular vision of history. Chaotically arranged by director Julian Schnabel, the film is an uninvolving mess, though a thoughtfully composed jumble of emotions and time periods ambitiously reaching for a distressing screen poeticism it never achieves.

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Currently, we’re in the throes of a Hollywood obsession to bring fairy tales to the big screen. It’s a fad that’s years away from peaking, leaving the sneaky triumph of “Hanna” all the more bewitching. It’s not exactly “Snow White” or “Alice in Wonderland,” but a weird, swirling amalgamation of the Grimm Brothers’ catalog, sharpened to Ginsu standards by the Euro sensibilities of director Joe Wright. Think of a fantastical storybook odyssey crossed with “The Bourne Identity,” and you’ll have a slightly accurate read of the moviegoing pleasures of this surreal, neck-snapping revenge escapade.

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The idea of a motion picture built around the rehabilitation efforts of a chirpy teen, with pronounced Christian messages to boot, doesn’t exactly promise a searing portrait of determination at the edge of catastrophe. Thankfully, “Soul Surfer” has an astonishing event to work with, dramatizing the incredible true story of Bethany Hamilton, a 13-year-old girl who faced an unimaginable test of survival, surrounded by her loving family, her faith, and tasty waves beckoning the surfer girl back to the spot of her greatest misfortune.

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“Of Gods and Men” explores that unsettled psychological space between duty and survival. It’s a static, introspective picture, lingering on moments of thought and concern, eschewing an ambitious staging of political conflict to huddle close to deliberation, taking in the intensity of the room with a group of men not accustomed to expressing their doubt.

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Writer/director Thomas McCarthy has made a name for himself through the delivery of rich characterizations, using formulaic plots to help establish the mood while developing three-dimensional personalities set loose inside a turbulent event of emotions. “Win Win” is generally more of the same from the filmmaker, though it suffers from a lopsided execution, struggling to stabilize dramatic footing with this fascinating group of lost souls. It’s a pleasant film with marvelous performances, but it loses a great deal of stamina in the second half once McCarthy succumbs to predictability.

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We’ve been down this road before. Watching the average frustrated citizen suit up and fight real-world crime isn’t a novel idea, with recent entries “Kick-Ass” and “Defendor” working similar routines, even dating back to a 1980 John Ritter film, “Hero at Large.” To make “Super” something unusual, writer/director James Gunn has infused the film with wild serio-comic spirit, drawing from his years making schlock for Troma to shape a superhero lampoon that’s too horrific to be a comedy, and not serious enough to register as sincere. It’s a middling, puzzling picture that doesn’t offer a secure point of view to make its mischief useful.

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Charlotte Bronte’s immortal tale of love and separation has seen its fair share of adaptations over the last century of filmed entertainment. Regurgitated time and again for both television and the big screen, “Jane Eyre” has been bled dry, with filmmakers of diverse backgrounds hungry to make their mark on a most celebrated story. Now, director Cary Joji Fukunaga steps up to courageously guide another look at the novel, unearthing something that’s eluded many creative forces throughout the years: A fresh approach.

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I’m sure Christians are used to seeing a grand perversion of Christmas at this point, but are they ready to see Easter fully stripped of its religious meaning? “Hop” Santa-fies the holiday to fit standard kid film fixings, turning up the color, unleashing adorable CG-animated characters, and offering impressively dated pop culture references, making a mild matinee ruckus that doesn’t feature much in the way of creative invention or comedic might. However, candyholics and fans of David Hasselhoff will be delighted.

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In 2009’s “Moon,” director Duncan Jones found clever ways to refresh sci-fi tropes and instill emotional stakes into a distancing story of isolation. Building on the idea of frustration through separation, Jones keeps the sci-fi and ventures into Hitchcockian thriller territory with “Source Code,” a stunningly crafted suspense tale of alarming surprise and resonance, elevating the young helmer to a level of accomplishment few filmmakers are able to achieve. Winding nail-biting suspense out of pure repetition and moderate existential panic, Jones nails a feverish pitch that takes a bizarre concept and shapes it into exhilarating cinema.

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“Insidious” marks a return to the big screen for director James Wan, who debuted in 2004 with the original “Saw” (yep, he’s the one to blame), only to see that success wither away after two follow-up stinkers in the form of 2007’s “Dead Silence” and “Death Sentence.” Making his way back to low-budget spooktaculars, Wan actually makes an appealing ruckus with “Insidious,” a derivative but effective scare machine pulled off with a certain gusto, making the viewing experience a treat for those who enjoy their shock jump cinema.

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Bullets, babes, perverts, Euro travel, secret documents, hitmen, car bombs, and testicular torture. Oh my. “Cat Run” doesn’t offer much in the way of thriller invention, but there’s also a scene featured here where dignified actress Janet McTeer faces off against a legless, one-armed D.L. Hughley inside a decrepit porno theater. Now there’s something I’ve never seen before.

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