It’s hard not to feel an attack of the yawns with “I Can’t Think Straight.” After all, it’s a fairly routine story of newfound lesbian rapture told with draggy melodrama and general overemphasis. However, the film is cast well with striking actresses Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth, who provide some needed emotional buoyancy to an otherwise unsuccessful attempt to merge hazardous sexual identity with turbulent world politics.
Perhaps the least likely event movie in the history of cinema, “Twilight,” after a full year of fire-stoking from fangirls of all ages and lung capacity, finally hits screens to greet its adoring followers, leaving the uninitiated on the outside looking in. However, that’s a great place to be when it comes to this impossibly sloppy, incoherent motion picture; the outside leaves plenty of leg room to run screaming from Catherine Hardwicke and her absolute inability to direct a stirring motion picture.
Emerging from Disney’s wounded in-house animation arm, “Bolt” is as routinely arranged a tale as the Mouse House is capable of telling. However, the lack of screenwriting imagination is offset by the inherent charm of the picture, resulting in a pleasing arrangement of CG-animated action set-pieces and slapstick comedy to push “Bolt” beyond the repetitive family film norm.
The James Bond franchise isn’t known for its employment of top-tier action directors, but the series has made it this far with an agreeable roster of journeymen filmmakers. What I fail to understand is the hiring of Marc Forster to helm the 22nd installment, “Quantum of Solace.” Did I miss the kinetic mayhem of “Monster’s Ball?” The sexual electricity of “Finding Neverland?” The searing emotional complexity of “Stranger Than Fiction?” It floors me that Forster was even allowed to say the name James Bond in public, much less call the shots on this, one of the superspy’s lousiest outings. Yeah, yeah, I know: he’s good with actors. Well, good with actors with a terrible eye for action in a Bond film is a cocktail to be shaken, stirred, and immediately spit out.
Rarely has a film of such visual and narrative confidence come along quite like “Slumdog Millionaire.” Director Danny Boyle’s adaptation of the Vikas Swarup novel “Q and A” is a searing portrait of the human spirit, crafted with such harrowing scenes of peril and heart-wrenching effusion, it’s impossible to take your eyes off the screen. It’s a classic story of adversity told with outstanding passion and visual agility, and while it’s housed in a bleak setting populated with some truly vile characters, it’s almost guaranteed to soothe any viewer with a soft spot for beautifully sculpted contrivance.
The documentary “We Are Wizards” opens with activist Carol Matriciana speaking candidly about the effect of the “Harry Potter” series on the malleable brains of children today. The outspoken woman believes “Potter” is a gateway drug to the occult, polluting the minds of the masses that have unknowingly opened themselves up to demonic suggestion, with younger devotees practically handing their future over to Satan with every passing chapter. If you take the remainder of this documentary to heart, it turns out “Harry Potter” might not be quite the harbinger of doom Matriciana would like to believe.
After all the damage Madonna has inflicted on the world with her acting, it’s amazing anyone would allow her the chance to actually direct a motion picture. The upside of “Filth and Wisdom” is that Madonna doesn’t make an appearance onscreen. That’s a huge upside. The downside is that “Filth” is under Madonna’s complete artistic control. She might be music royalty with a striking career of pop culture achievements, but she’s just not meant for big screen glory.
While not his last feature film, the late Bernie Mac is served well by the comedy “Soul Men,” putting in a feral performance that brings out the old Mac we all fell in love with long ago. It’s a shame the movie can’t live up to his spirit, trading comedic momentum for a story nobody is going to care about. Still, the laughs are plentiful for 45 minutes, and that’s all this movie needs to please.
“Role Models” is not a product that needs much effort to be funny. Not only does the comedy troupe “The State” more or less reunite here, but there’s Paul Rudd, the world of LARP, and McLovin’ also stealing screentime. Coming dangerously close to self-parody at times, “Role Models” remains a light but heartily funny diversion, best served with a raucous audience who appreciate a masterful KISS joke when they see one.
Like any improbable sequel, “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” is a more potent creation when acting as a carefree joke blender than a believable sample of storytelling. As good-naturedly hilarious as the 2005 original film, the sequel suffers only in the freshness department, with filmmakers who really show lackluster confidence on where to take this unexpected franchise. It’s a fine family diversion, but it fails to improve on its predecessor, and there’s something mildly disappointing in that missed opportunity.
I imagine “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas” will become required viewing for junior high schools just beginning to explore the history of the Holocaust. The film is an emotional experience highlighting the tragedy of innocence, using the point of view of an eight-year-old German boy to expose the raw psychological devastation of the era. It’s an unnerving film with a knockout punch for an ending, but it feels more acceptable as an educational piece than a profoundly rewarding work of drama.
“A Thousand Years of Good Prayers” is a lovely film of small intentions, yet embellished with an enormous heart. It’s a story of a father and a daughter forced to confront their mounting personal unease, yet the picture is far more interested in the mechanics of dialogue, and how interaction with fellow human beings can fill the nagging holes in the soul.
A Christian horror film? Well, I suppose every person with access to plenty of money wants in on the spooky genre these days. Unsurprisingly, “House” fails to supply a sufficient level of fright; the picture seems content to wallow in confusion and convention, removing the novelty of faith to roll around in tired terror clichés and dreadful direction.
In 1995, “Waterworld” was the film to beat…and beat up. With an extravagant production scope, a surefire leading man in Kevin Costner, and material dripping with summer popcorn thrills, box office expectations were elevated to an absurd degree. Then behind-the-scenes mishaps started to occur, entire sets (along with their subplots) sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and the budget went positively bananas. Suddenly a guaranteed summertime blockbuster turned into a cheap punchline for the media, who branded the film a disaster before it even opened – a tag that still incorrectly haunts the movie to this very day. “Waterworld” was doomed to fail no matter what type of movie showed up in theaters.
From the studio that brought the world “In the Name of the King” and “Dragon Wars” comes “The Haunting of Molly Hartley.” Perhaps Freestyle Releasing isn’t concerned with producing a competent film for their growing library of titles, which makes their latest effort quite a rousing success. A high school drama with colorless demonic overtones, “Hartley” is a last-minute Halloween stab at box office gold and a resoundingly idiotic one at that.
I suppose it was bound to happen sometime, and I guess I should be glad it took 14 years to arrive, but Kevin Smith’s “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” is a disappointment. It’s not an unpleasant film, more of a blown opportunity (no pun intended), and falls well short of the quality Smith has demonstrated with prior raunchfests. Attempting to walk precariously on a tightrope of sentimentality and smutty behavior, Smith wanders off, manufacturing a film more contrived than sincere, and with less bellylaughs than anticipated.
Contrary to popular opinion, “Changeling” doesn’t represent director Clint Eastwood fishing for Oscar gold. Instead he’s made what he usually makes: a sturdy drama with wonderful working parts, only now there’s an issue of length that’s disconcerting, and stretches the movie to a point of no return. “Changeling” is compelling and flush with outstanding period detail, yet it can’t locate the brakes, skidding from nail-biting tension into watch-checking boredom all too easily.
The experience of watching the documentary “Dear Zachary” is like trying to put together a complex puzzle inside a roaring jet engine. Eschewing a liberal, meditative approach to reverse engineer a murder, “Zachary” instead pours its heart out over the screen, piloting with unfiltered rage and tears as filmmaker Kurt Kuenne embarks on a distressing odyssey to decipher just who would want to kill his lifelong friend, Andrew.
“Splinter” has nothing novel to offer the audience, but its comfort food. Bloody, screamy, creepy crawly comfort food that cuddles B-movie horror convention without fatigue. If you like your chills served up with simplicity, “Splinter” digests easily.
Leave it to a member of the Beastie Boys to create one of the best basketball documentaries around. Picking up where “Hoop Dreams” left off, “Gunnin’ for That #1 Spot” replaces solemnity with a streetwise perspective, examining the futures of eight high school basketball phenoms as they gather at the infamous Rucker Park neighborhood court to prove their highly trained mettle in front of an unforgiving crowd.
BRIAN ORNDORF 