Category: Film
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The 25 Best Films of 2000-2009 (Part 1)
With the first unwieldy chunk of the 2000s drawing to a close, it seems fitting (and trendy) to whip up a tight “Best of the Decade” list, to somehow fit a cap on a very eclectic 10 years of unrelenting filmgoing. It would be simple, perhaps expected, to carelessly mash together sections of various best-of lists from throughout the years, forming a lifeless pile of titles once and forever loved to define a decade now known more for its losses than its gains. However, I wanted to offer something that represents the exceptional features that have retained incredible lasting power — films that still manage to course through my system through both fond memories and repeated viewings. The normal critical urges are relaxed here, with an eye toward titles that still rock the casbah while everything else has faded ever so quietly into the wall of white noise.
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Review – Halloween Horror Nights 2009 (Universal Orlando)
I visited Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights for the very first time last year (recap here), and while entertained and awed, the sheer force of bodies and bratty behavior made me carefully consider returning for 2009. It’s one thing to have a haunted house attraction that welcomes giddy hordes of eager horror enthusiasts, it’s another to encourage said fanbase to booze up to a point of sickness, treating the Universal layout like an elaborate frat party. Granted, it doesn’t always reach a point of distaste at HHN, but I’ve made a few visits to the event this year, and again, while exceptionally themed and executed, the experience can be awfully trying at times. This year registers as extraordinarily irritating.
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The Real Abe Froman: Remembering John Hughes (1950-2009)
My introduction to the fantastical mind of John Hughes arrived mid-summer 1986, when I was oddly granted permission to see “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” at the local mall 4-plex with a friend. I was 10 years old, adorable, and utterly unaware of Hughes at the time. The champagne-worthy celebration that sweltering day was strictly regulated to being let out of the house and permitted to devour forbidden PG-13 fruit without intrusion from irrationally judgmental parents.
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Star Wars Weekends 2009 at Disney’s Hollywood Studios
Wow. Star Wars Weekends ended over a month ago, and I never got around to posting my pictures from the event. Chalk it up to pure absentmindedness, not a reflection of the month-long celebration of all things “Star Wars.”
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Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s and Nougabot Snickers Transformers Candy (Review)
I feel like I’m the only film critic around eagerly anticipating “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Caught in the questionable spell of Michael Bay’s previous robot-scraping blockbuster adventure for reasons I’m still having trouble articulating, it’s neat to see the franchise jump right back on its metal feet, excreting a colossal sequel in just a hair under two years. Overall, I sincerely loathe Bay and his ego-drenched industry killing ways, but my love for the original toy line and proficient big screen demolition keeps the fires of contempt at a safe distance. I just hope the sequel doesn’t spoil the landmark Bay-Orndorf truce of 2007.
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“Twilight: Forbidden Fruits” Sweethearts Candy
I spied the “Twilight: Forbidden Fruits” brand of Sweethearts candy out of the corner of my eye today while at the grocery store and felt compelled to purchase a “collectible” box. While I hate to fork over my 99 cents to the freshly oiled “Twilight” merchandise machine, I’m afraid my curiosity got the best of me on this item, the latest in a series of hastily arranged Cullen Family knickknacks that fall under the headline, “Good lord, they actually showed up to see this movie! MAKE THINGS AND SELL THEM!”
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Brian Visits the 2009 FX International Convention
It was my first voyage to the FX International Convention, an enormous event in Orlando that brings out considerable crowds to experience a sheer wall of merchandise, celebrity apathy, and a legion of hungry comic book artists clamoring for the almighty dollar. It’s a monetary free-for-all that bravely thumbs its nose at today’s economy, presenting a buffet of celluloid heroes and plastic, “Made in China” divinity that demands persistent cash machine attention.
Because in space, nobody accepts credit.
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The Tale of “The Abyss” Sets in South Carolina
What’s amazing about James Cameron’s “The Abyss” is not its upcoming 20th anniversary and how it’s become the rare film to last throughout the years as an adventure extravaganza many audiences still treasure and remain in awe of decades later. Actually, what’s amazing about “The Abyss” is that, up to only a few years ago, the elaborate sets still remained in their original place for brave souls to view at the Cherokee Nuclear Power Plant in South Carolina.
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“Miss March” Interview with Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore
Arriving in theaters on Friday, March 13th is the raunchy comedy “Miss March,” directed, written, and starring two members of the comedy troupe The Whitest Kids U’ Know, Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore. Recently, I sat down with the actors to discuss their first feature film.
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The Terrace Theater in Robbinsdale, Minnesota (1951-1999)
Perhaps in this age of the antiseptic multiplex atmosphere and assorted corporate banalities that ensue, the diamond concept of the movie theater as a sort of makeshift cathedral for filmgoing worship doesn’t exist anymore. I know my golden era of cinema awareness came at the twilight of the mall multiplex craze, where I was still able to enjoy a few of the decaying treasures of previous moviegoing trends before their eventual demolition. At the time I visited these gems, I just lived in the moment, barely able to process anything besides purchasing a cheap ticket and an oily bucket of popcorn. Nowadays I yearn for the theaters of my youth, especially when visiting the soulless moviegoer farms that pass for cinemas today.
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The 10 Best Films of 2008
Death defying professional wrestlers, an elderly baby, low-fi film worship, Bono, vampire love, botched abortions, pencil magic tricks, exposed penises, KISS worship, and perhaps the most polarizing sequel of the year.
These are the 10 best films of 2008.
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The 10 Worst Films of 2008
The curse of Friedberg and Seltzer, buffalo soldiers, 2012 VHS tapes, Paris Hilton, the horrors of a recycling factory, the death of film parody, Conservative desperation, Larry the Cable Guy, and skateboarding blues.These are the 10 worst films of 2008.
BRIAN ORNDORF 
