There are a few specialized events I try to never take part in willingly: poetry slams, film festivals, food tastings, and especially haunted houses. Horror is easily consumed on the big screen, where the distance between the macabre and the audience is sufficiently tolerable. Take that dosage of terror and lend it a 360 degree atmosphere, and my fraidy cat heart will inform my legs to immediately sprint the opposite way.
Earlier this year I extolled the virtues of Blue Bell’s masterful ice cream concoction Anniversary Cake. Well, now it’s been officially yanked off store shelves because Blue Bell apparently hates obscene profit, but I have to congratulate the sweet treat architects: they certainly know how to follow up perfection.
The Incredible Hulk is big and green, but his promotional tie-in assault has been rather petite and more off-white in hue. My old friends at 7-Eleven have tried to drum up interest for the new Edward Norton-powered “Incredible Hulk” film by trotting out a new round of lenticular Slurpee cups, preferably filled with the “Radiation Rush” ice drink. Because nothing says dee-lish quite like a mouthful of freezing green slush intended to represent one of the most poisonous substances known to humankind.
Oh, and there’s a donut too.
Last week, I was standing in the checkout line at Target eyeballing the impulse items when I spotted a plastic container of mints I’d never seen before.
Over the next two years, the Orlando theme park wars are going to reach unheard of levels of showmanship. After years of construction slowdown and financial baby steps, the three major theme park entities (Sea World, Universal, and Disney) are all currently in the heated process of rolling out several big-ticket attractions, intending to inject a little exhilaration into the Orlando area that, if aimed just so, will alter the stagnant attendance rankings the suits are always looking to goose.
If you’ve been inside a grocery store lately, you may have noticed the ice cream section now takes up nearly half of the available square footage. Cold treats are huge business these days, with every conceivable jumble of flavors out there to make sure you stay the hell out of the average Coldstone or Dairy Queen. It’s war, didn’t you know?
BRIAN ORNDORF 