Arnold Schwarzenegger conquers the world with “Terminator 2” and the summer hits rock bottom with “Problem Child 2.”
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Blu-ray Review – Season of the Witch
It’s difficult to take Nicolas Cage seriously these days. The former madman has been forced into a series of paycheck gigs for reasons obvious to anyone enjoying access to the internet, with “Season of the Witch” a solid representation of Cage’s new career direction. Unchallenged and over-wigged, the actor is merely biding his time with this serving of horror hooey, obviously more interested in hearing the sweet sound of “cut!” than trying to make a tepid screenplay shuffle with restless energy Cage is more than capable of summoning. The material needed his special sauce. Instead, Cage barely raises an eyebrow.
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Blu-ray Review – The Warrior’s Way
“The Warrior’s Way” is an odd one. Wedged somewhere between the furious imaginations of Tsui Hark and Sergio Leone, the feature is an idiosyncratic ode to pure screen heroism thwarted by the junky instincts of its untested writer/director, Sngmoo Lee. I was never outright bored by the picture, but there’s much to jeer in this overwrought action film, which spends so much time reminding the audience of its artificiality, it forgets to have some spaghetti western fun with the limitless potential of CGI.
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Blu-ray Review – IMAX: Sharks
Our friendly turtle guide returns to the deep blue sea with “Sharks,” a semi-sequel to the 2003 production, “Ocean Wonderland.” Once again detailing the activity of the ocean, the focus is on the titular creature here, though director Jean-Jacques Mantello doesn’t always have the patience to stay glued to shark incidents. Often swimming around to observe the rest of the neighborhood, the film creates more of a community feel here than anticipated.
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Blu-ray Review – You Got Served: Beat the World
“You Got Served: Beat the World” is a terrible motion picture, but you probably already knew that. The original “You Got Served,” released in 2004, was also a terrible motion picture, but at least it made the attempt to tell something of a story between blasts of street dance and hip-hop humiliation. “Beat the World” is a lazy movie, with only a faint hint of conflict dusted over repetitive and illogical dance sequences. It’s a bore from start to finish. Again, you probably already knew that.
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DVD Review – Nobody’s Perfekt
Imagine a tepid Marx Brothers comedy starring Gabe Kaplan, Alex Karras, and Robert Klein, and there’s “Nobody’s Perfekt,” a pronounced attempt to bring jolly vaudevillian timing to the cynical year of 1981. Rarely funny but endearingly determined, the picture’s success could only be gauged by personal taste. Those interested in the unconventional cast should have a blast, while others would be wise to steer clear of this funky Floridian farce.
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Film Review – Monte Carlo
Although marketed as tween-baiting pap to secure Disney Channel generation attention, “Monte Carlo” is a softer romantic fantasy, providing a few unexpectedly human moments in the midst of its mischief. Solidly acted and sturdily constructed, the picture offers a mellow display of wish fulfillment, more interested in the inspection of feelings than distributing vapid monkey business.
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Film Review – The Ledge
Though the credits do not list the original incarnation of “The Ledge,” I’m going to assume this material was at one point intended for the stage, where its mix of monologues and hysterical characters could be broadly articulated by live actors. As a film, it’s an inconsistent, flavorless psychological thriller, trying desperately to come across provocative when it’s truly about as deep and challenging as a television movie.
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Film Review – The Perfect Host
“The Perfect Host” is a film strictly for fans of actor David Hyde Pierce. The former “Frasier” star is the only element of the picture worth paying attention to, bringing a faint flicker of verve to an otherwise tedious and poorly constructed thriller. Writer/director Nick Tomnay should thank his lucky stars he was able to secure Pierce’s participation, otherwise there would be no reason to pay attention to anything this feature has to offer.
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Film Review – Larry Crowne
“Larry Crowne” is a breath of fresh air in a summer moviegoing season polluted with superheroes, family film fart jokes, and battling robots. Serving as its co-writer/director/star, Tom Hanks presents a portrait of betterment, taking on cynicism with a motion picture that revels in its mild-mannered corniness, making a friendly feature that’s amusing, approachable, and largely unexpected, keeping formula distracted with a special directorial spin Hanks hasn’t displayed since his marvelous 1996 effort, “That Thing You Do!”
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Film Review – Quarantine 2: Terminal
I wasn’t a fan of the 2008 chiller, “Quarantine.” An American remake of the sparkling Spanish horror picture “Rec,” the update was a watered down take on a pure terror experience, which came to be sequelized in 2009’s ferocious “Rec 2.” Instead of serving up another tired reheat, writer/director John Pogue shifts the world of “Quarantine” in a slightly different direction with his sequel. Lacking a budget and stars, the filmmaker reworks the viral viciousness into a modest but highly entertaining follow-up, dropping tedious found footage elements to refresh the concept.
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Film Review – Transformers: Dark of the Moon
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon” is a noticeable step up in quality from the last feature, 2009’s disastrous “Revenge of the Fallen.” With several key members of the production team disowning the first sequel, it’s easy to spot a genuine attempt to make up for lost time with the new movie; however, it’s not a complete franchise overhaul or a refreshing return to the jubilant 2007 original. Instead, “Dark of the Moon” exists as a disappointment, built as an apology, but remains slavish to some of the nonsense that made the previous picture unbearable. On the plus side: no Transformer testicles for this round. At least Michael Bay listened to a few of the complaints.
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DVD Review – Blame It on the Night
A domestic drama from 1984, “Blame It on the Night” is a perfectly functional tearjerker that rarely satisfies. Perhaps more interested in selling soundtracks than emotions, the picture is a vague offering of thoughtful human interaction, though supported by satisfying performances and a snapshot of MTV-fueled rock stardom in the mid-1980s. A magical time when a 37-year-old man with a mild perm could make an arena of teenage girls swoon.
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DVD Review – Bloodworth
For the first hour, the southern drama “Bloodworth” captures a perfectly compelling tone of discovery, approaching solemn incidents of domestic disturbance with a countrified stillness. Criminally, the final 30 minutes erase most positive feelings about the feature, with concentration lost to the demands of a complicated literary translation. It’s an interesting picture, teeming with inspired performances and intriguing developments, but it’s a viewing experience best left unfinished.
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DVD Review – Immigration Tango
The producers blew a major opportunity when they decided to turn “Immigration Tango” into a feature film. A concept more suited for a sitcom translation, the movie rushes through unrelenting mediocrity, hoping to captivate with its tepid comedy and chilly romance, making an inert farce without the benefit of a laugh track. It would’ve been right at home on network television.
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Blu-ray Review – New York, New York
When Martin Scorsese’s filmography is explored, there are typically two efforts that define his oeuvre: 1976’s “Taxi Driver” and 1980’s “Raging Bull.” However, during this fertile creative period there was another picture, sandwiched in-between, a 1977 feature that effectively stalled and oddly reenergized Scorsese’s career. “New York, New York” isn’t a forgotten or lost picture, but one that’s rarely brought up when a discussion of the maestro is introduced. A shame, really. While it’s flawed and fattened, it’s one of Scorsese’s more appealing experiments, looking to resuscitate the traditional Hollywood musical within the raw mood of the 1970s, creating an unusually frosty, but pleasingly unpredictable candy-coated psychodrama.
BRIAN ORNDORF 